kidney donations make a difference in local residents’ lives

Groton ― When Groton teacher Hilary Baude was asked last year to help advocate for Brian Riley, a Groton paraprofessional who needed a kidney, she didn’t hesitate.

Baude, who had donated a kidney to someone else in 2021, didn’t have another kidney to give but wanted to help in anyway she could.

“It was a big, big help. I consider her family,” said Riley, who had been unsure of how to respond to his sudden diagnosis of end-stage kidney failure.

Baude wrote a social media post about Riley’s need for a transplant, which inspired another Groton educator, Elaine Army, to step forward as a potential donor. While Riley ultimately found a kidney through the National Kidney Registry, Army continued on and decided to give a kidney to a stranger.

Baude said the story of the three Groton educators shows the “ripple effects of kindness” and she hopes it will raise awareness about the need for kidney transplants and how easy it is for people to give a kidney.

Being inspired to help

Baude, who teaches at Mystic River Magnet School and has two children, donated a kidney last year to a stranger, and as a result was able to give a “voucher“ for a kidney.

Under the voucher program, a person can donate a kidney on behalf of someone else ― rather than donate directly to that person ― and give that person a voucher to “be prioritized to receive a living donor kidney,“ according to the National Kidney Registry’s website. Baude said this program can help people find the best kidney match for them.

Baude said a colleague reached out to her to ask if she would help Riley, a football and basketball coach for Fitch High School who worked as a paraprofessional for Groton Public Schools and now works at Electric Boat.

Riley said after being diagnosed with end-stage kidney failure in April 2021, he was on dialysis for three-and-a-half hours, three days a week. He said he became more and more tired, lost weight, had to follow a restricted diet, and wasn’t feeling like himself.

Baude, who had donated to a stranger, got to see first-hand what Riley was going through. She said dialysis is debilitating, and she knew that it was possible to make him completely healthy through a kidney donation and how easy it is for someone to donate. While she couldn’t give him a kidney, she wanted to find someone who could.

Baude sent Riley inspirational quotes every morning when he was going to dialysis, contacted advocates from the National Kidney Donation Organization, and gave him advice to transfer to Mystic River Magnet School, the elementary school where she teaches, which would be a better fit for his dialysis schedule.

“There was just something about him that resonated with me,” Baude said. “I feel like once you donate you can literally go on with life as if you never donated. There is not anything physically about me that reminds me on a daily basis that I donated the kidney. I could forget about it completely if I wanted to, but I feel like the impact that it has on someone else’s life makes it worth pursuing again and again and again for all of those hundred thousand people out there that need a kidney.”

When Army, who has three grown children and two grandchildren, saw Baude’s social media post in April of this year about Riley, she said she thought about how awful it must be for Riley, 33, who is the same age as her youngest child, to be going through this experience and wanted to help.

Army, a reading interventionist at Thames River Magnet School who used to teach with Baude at the former Mary Morrisson School, stepped forward as a potential donor. She was going through the testing to try to donate a kidney on Riley’s behalf, when Riley found out the National Kidney Registry had found a match for him in the system, Baude said.

Riley received his kidney in June. When Army was approved to be a donor in late August, she was asked if she still wanted to donate a kidney, even though Riley no longer needed one. Army said she felt confident that donating a kidney is safe for her and decided to move forward with donating her kidney anyway and recently donated to a stranger.

‘A huge difference’

Army said Baude’s story made her comfortable to be a kidney donor herself and she knew that donating one of her kidneys would mean more to someone in need, than it did to her.

Riley, a Groton resident, said he is healthy, and though he still “has his days,” he feels back to normal.

“I was really getting tired, really getting drained, but having this kidney really changed that,” Riley said. “I feel more alive. I’m getting out doing a lot more than I could have done last year, specially getting around the kids coaching. The kids even see a huge difference.”

Before he left for his surgery, the students he was teaching broke down and cried, because some of them didn’t think he was going to make it.

After his surgery, he went to a youth football game where some of the students play, and one of the students began crying and thanked Riley for being there for him.

“That’s how important it was to them for me to come back so I’m just glad to be here,” he said.

Riley and Army met for the first time earlier this month ― at the same time as an interview with The Day ― at Sift Bake Shop in Mystic.

Army said she’s happy to see that Riley is well, and that’s the most important thing to her.

Army said that Baude is an inspiration as an educator, athlete and advocate: “She’s gutsy in so many ways,” Army said.

Army said she does not know the person she donated to but knows that the kidney transplant was successful and that brings her intense joy.

Riley said he does not know the person who donated to him, but he did receive a note from her and he plans to reach out to her when the time is right.

They said the Groton school district was supportive of them.

Baude, a mother of two children who is a runner and lives in Waterford, is involved with mentoring and advocacy through the National Kidney Donation Organization and recently was sponsored by the National Kidney Registry to complete a 12-marathon challenge with another donor next year. She completed her first Ironman Triathalon in September.

Baude said her and Army’s experience shows how easy and safe it is to give a kidney, and Riley’s experience shows how a donation can help someone.

“I definitely feel connected to both of them, and for me it’s always been about how can we educate people on the donation process and how can we make sure that people know that this is a healthy thing to do,” Baude said.

k.drelich@theday.com