As cryptocurrency heavies mysteriously die one after another, surf fans worry “diamond handed” investor Kelly Slater in imminent danger!

You seen that before? Drive you nuts?

You’ll remember, of course, the surfer-turned-citizen cop Chad Towersey. 

His Instagram account @ocinstanews is a treasure chest of gotcha journalism, Towersey’s leering mask behind the telephone camera a source of terror for Orange County wrongdoers.

The lantern-jawed Towersey aka Unkle Tito, who is forty-three, became the toast of mainstream American media one month ago after a video appeared on his Instagram page showing a gal gone wild in a three-wheeled SUV.

Towersey snatched the footage of the woman he dubbed “Zanny Nanny” on the 405 freeway headed north to Irvine as he was driving to his job as a solar panel salesman.

Now, a five-year-old video of a surfer hitting bumpers while attempting to park at Newport, and filmed by Towersey, has resurfaced thanks to Reddit, and which Chas Smith wrote about yesterday. 

A brief recap, 

Let us travel, together, to Newport Beach, California, where our scene unfolds in broad daylight. For here we witness a surf caricature, floppy blonde hair, sunglasses, attempting to parallel park a white older model Mercedes station wagon festooned with an orange longboard. 

The “Chad” pulls up, cellphone out and ready, declaring, “Ahhh, now you’re hitting cars, bro, come on,” in classic west coast whine.

The “surfer” flashes a peace sign and responds, “Get a job, Chad. Is that your name? Chad? Go and hit up some açaí berries.”

Surfer girlfriend, girl friend or wife then appears as Chad tries to warn her not to get hit, that “He’s hitting cars.”

She says, “Dude, I know who you are.” He says, “Stop touching me.”

And the whole business devolves from there.

Towersey, who removed the video from his page soon after it appeared because the man in wagon said he was getting teased by Newport Beach locals, says the crude parking wasn’t even the worst of his crimes. 

“It was a hot summer’s day and if you’re waiting for a parking spot you pull over so people can go around,” says Towersey. “And this was the most irritable thing. He was double parked and he had ten cars backed up for eight minutes. Not every street in Newport allows you to do it, but on this street you can. If you have half a brain, you pull over to the right. And then I pull up and watch him trying to park and he’s playing bumper cars.” 

You seen that before?

Drive you nuts? 

Mall, beach, and traffic backs up because one person is determined to jump into a particular car space and to hell with how long it takes?

Almost enough to turn a man into a lethal jack-in-the-box, ain’t it?

The correct response, as Towersey states, is to pull over and allow traffic to pass or move on until you find a vacant parking spot. 

Or is he wrong?